Why roadschooling ?
I was in awe when I could touch the dinosaur fossil than when I saw it on a book.
I felt the massiveness of a warship when I went inside INS Airavath than when I watched a movie.
My uncle’s stories on tiger came alive when I saw one live at the Pench Forest reserve.
When I travel is when, I really feel the sense of 420 km else I would not have known that it is this far.
When I lived in Kerala is when I actually understood there is a lot of correlation between what people wear, eat, talk and feel.
To be in Sabarmati Ashram gives me a lot of sense about, who Gandhi is? though I haven’t read anything about him.
These are voices of my seven-year-old travel schooled girl.
Why roadschooling?
In a preset curriculum the child does not face the particular situation or an event in reality. Only when an event is experienced by all the five senses there comes an urge to know and this gives rise to a question. In a preset curriculum, the questions are not hers, the answers are not hers and hence the information transferred would stay only until writing an examination.
And experience happens when the mind, body and soul are in alignment and at one place. This is highly possible when there are no walls around or when there is no roof on top. Every moment is dynamic and new. I myself as an adult go awe about many things when I am out. This fuels the need to know. This awe factor leads to observe more. Learning is all about observation and exploration.
How to roadschool ?
The only key is JUST BE. Go with the flow of the child. Let me tell you things that I refrain from doing
I don’t talk much when she is on the road. I don’t tell my child look there, look here. When I root down to know why I say that, i found that those are my expectations for the child. That I want my child to know this. Rooting more deeper I found, my expectations are my fears. Fear of uncertainty, fears of being missed out, fear of humiliation. By talking, I only feel, I post MY fears on to my child all the time. When I talk, direct or expect, I take away the main ingredient of learning, the awe factor. The child should be intrinsically motivated to know something.
When the connection is made I do not disturb her with my answers, my time schedule, my body language and expressions in the notion of kindling more spirit into the child.
Food is also a distraction. I do not feed the child with until she asks for. When there is food for thought, the body hardly needs any. Initially when I did that, I saw my fear there also. What if she gets hungry and cranky and not engage with this activity even more. An expectation created.
Answers are the biggest distraction. Only after becoming an adult with a bit of awareness I understand there is no one answer to anything and everything. Even science is a perspective, it’s how we look at it. Answers kills wondering, observing and exploring.
For questions that I know answers for, I do not give her direct answers. Instead
- I get genuinely interested in her question.
- Only when the question is persistent for a longer time frame I would give her guiding questions to think more.
- Sometimes I remind her question by including that in our conversation on a later date.(I understand, somewhere still there is an expectation antenna sticking around. The parent role in me is tickling me to do it). Earlier I would note down every question of hers and then remind her but these days I’m just going with the flow. If I remember, I ask, else I am not too keen on posting my fears on to her.
- I do not judge her for her answers. Would like to quote an interesting example here.
TS :Amma how was sand formed ?
DN : I feel, you would get to know if you could spend more time on it, If you really want to know.
Many days later
TS: I feel the sand would have rained from above.
( I felt this answer is ridiculous but still my reply was, ‘is it’?)
I took serious efforts not to judge the child here. If I had done that the other day I could have killed her question and my child’s trust on me to ask and tell me anything that her heart desires. I just said, ‘oh that’s a new perspective to me. Do let me know if you find out more about this. I am interested to know more about this’.
Many many years later when she came to know about the big bang theory she yelled with excitement, ‘Amma do you remember I told you that sand rained from above. Yes! that’s true, every speck of dust rained from the Big Bang’.
This is even after she coming to know about the volcanoes, rocks withering et cetera. I was dumbstruck to know that she was still in contact with that question. It Is an adult’s expectation that kills a child’s curiosity, wondering and observation.
Most of the time, her question excites me, which stings my inquisitiveness. I go about wondering, finding answers through people, books and internet. I share my learnings with her, if she is interested we dig deep and co learn together.
For questions that I don’t have the answers for and I don’t have the interest for, I am not a bit ashamed to say I don’t know.
Another main thing that I don’t do is appreciate. I refrain from appreciating her questions and her answers. Appreciation kills the inquisitiveness. The child gets to feel that this answer is the ultimate answer once the mother appreciates. And she stops observing and wondering more. As making the mother happy is one of the child’s primary goal, poor thing that they do it at the cost of loosing their own self. I would rather be interested in listening to her process of getting there than just appreciate her in few words.
So these are some of the things that I follow as a road-schooling mom. There are certain things I am still not able to do as much I want to do, but I keep trying to do a little more today from what I did yesterday.
Qualities I noticed in my daughter by being roadschooled:
Both my daughters seven and three can eat and sleep; anything and anywhere.
I so relate my daughter’s journey to Slumdog millionaire movie where, when one questions her about certain things she relates it to her experience. I saw flamingos in Gujarat, I saw tigers at Pench, I saw crocodiles in Chennai, I saw raccoon in Mysore all this without a bit of ego and with lot of gratitude.
The curiosity that she was born with is, still intact.
She is not scared to say I don’t know.
I am not sure if it’s by nature or if it is by Travels that she’s become a people lover.
Selfish benefits I reap as a roadschooling mom:
I get to live in the present when I am out. The place is so vivid and dynamic that I get to focus only in the now and here. Which trained me not to focus on my imaginary scary future and a guilty past. Living in the present can be achieved by training the mind and that is possible while being in the nature and with children.
I came to know my fears by being outside of my four walls. I, not only became aware of my fears but also met my fears, experienced them and also was able let go off many of my fears.
The best thing about travelling as a woman is, for the very first time I understood the real power of a woman. The amount of respect and privilege that I got from people of all ages and all walks of life is immense. Never have I experienced so much respect, humbleness and kindness before. This doesn’t come with any material labels. Only by being a mother and the trust I have on every other person, being and nature has brought the magic. When people see a women travelling alone with two kids and a backpack they run to help, even before I could ask. This didn’t happen once or twice but everyday for the past 6 years.
Do let us know your questions on travelling, Lakshana and I would be more than happy to help you from the little knowledge we have. Post your questions on the comments below.
All the very best for your journey.
I need to to thank you for this good read!! I certainly loved every bit of it. I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you postÖ